You’re in The Oval Office


You’re in The Oval Office

By, Nancy Hammond

You’re in The Oval Office, Pee 45, and we are here to resist your hateful creeds. We the People will not use your name or buy your brand. In a pissing contest, you have perverted this nation and assaulted our civil liberties, while ignoring the Constitution. Let there be no question that this Republican administration is obsessed with dismantling the lives of the American people, including our Federal Government.

Pee 45’s use of language has been both enigmatic and fanatical. This has led me to do my own research. I began by examining his personality and noticed his odd arousal from anything and everything that a civil society prohibits. He becomes notably more animated when humiliating people, whereby, reacting personally humiliated. So naturally, I turned to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) which is now a critical read, along with the Constitution. I subsequently turned to Wikipedia and followed the dots. My queries became unraveled when I found the British physician and psychologist with the birth name of Henry Havelock Ellis (1859-1939.) I read that he was both a sexologist and impotent. Havelock Ellis confessed that he had been impotent up until the age of sixty, but after watching a woman urinate everything changed. He coined this finding Urolagnia or Urophilia which is sexual excitement associated with the sight or thought of urine or urination. It is well-known that Havelock Ellis developed the concepts of Autoerotism and Narcissism. There it is, Pee 45 in the year 2013 at the Moscow Ritz-Carlton Presidential Suite! “Golden Showers” are considered a sexual fetish and a tap for impotency. For the skeptics, allow my empirical evidence as proof that I have indeed cracked this nut. Pee 45 is on record as saying: Believe me, there’s no problem down there, I just can’t help myself, and everyone that knows me, knows that I’m a germaphobe. He went even further and told the world that he knows, all too well, that Russia uses hidden cameras in their hotel rooms. Why did we need to hear that? Pee 45’s choice of embarrassing words gives him away like a child who lies about wetting the bed. In the words of Havelock Ellis, “All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on”.

The lowermost measure of Pee 45 may be found in his sexual appetite which includes his arrangement with Vladimir Putin to cover it up. This is consistent with Pee 45’s core personality; humiliate or be humiliated. Either way, there is that Russian dossier rumored to contain obscene and compromising personal information. If my theory is correct, it is unconscionable to imagine that our nation’s National Security is in jeopardy because Pee 45 finds enjoyment with urine and is a Urophiliac.

There has been much fuss made over Pee 45’s hidden tax records but we may also want to include his other fallacious proclivities. There is a whiff of treason in the air like nothing America has ever known and this whopper may ultimately climax with Pee 45 locked up, for our own good.